Four weddings & a funeral

Remember the opening words to the film? (ok, rhymes with duck, said several times for those who are way too young) Bit like the start of my last month.  So far it’s been four weeks, four interviews, one job offer.  I am the kind of excited that small children get on Christmas eve.  And also a little nervous – lots of change, lots of uncertainty, new colleagues – oh and not wearing uniform! For years it’s been “my grey shirt – or my grey shirt” today.  And the government even gives an allowance for washing it – a very nice thing really!

Yesterday I cleared the desk toys – construction hat pencil sharpener, squeezy C1 lorry, new C class vehicle and the CPCS squeezy construction hat.  They’ve sat alongside my “keep calm and keep swimming” mug and “cake” coaster for a while now.  In a couple weeks they get to go to a new desk where I hope they will be welcomed.  All except the squeezy stress lorry which has a new home where I see it will be appreciated.  I used to throw it at colleagues when they got particularly annoying.  Shame I can’t throw straight.

The timing has been so perfect. It hasn’t stopped me going to dark places in my head and uncovering even more layers of lack of trust and resentment.  It’s a warped place in there sometimes.  But I am grateful for the light I have had, clinging onto that has worked, along with the prayer and support of my friends and my church.  And the encouragement of the recruiters; however sales-y they are, their encouragement helped me believe I could smash it.

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